Essential Friendship & Essential Oils

I haven’t been very open in regards to friendships in the early years of my adult life. It is a hybrid marriage of a strange side effect from depression in my early twenties and the fact that I am just a homebody person by nature. It got very bad, being “blatantly anti-social” my boyfriend called it and I just agreed and continued on. I hid behind the busyness of school work and deflected the fact that I have no social friends because I had work friends and that was enough.

But there was no life.

In an act of triumph against my depression I made one social friend, and he is an awesome friend. Tony will forever be a piece of my life, and has inserted himself as family. It also helped that he could be a homebody himself, and our personalities like all great friendships were not the same but compatible. He was the first step into finding a new version of myself, one that is not awkward and uninviting. It was much easier to be in a social setting with a friend to do this with. You never think about it like that until you literally don’t have a girlfriend to do things with. I should mention that Tony is a gay man and loves himself as I love him just the way his is.  Getting my girl time back allowed me to realize just how much I was missing it. Not only was I able to slowly come out of my shell in my own time, but pushed to break through it as Tony saw fit. Pulling me out of my comfort zone as girlfriends often do, and allowing me to realize things about myself that I didn’t think were issues. For me those issues were being social, and not just being social but actually liking being social.

I carried my progress with me to new jobs and sporatic new acquaintances until setting at a job where I’ve been for a few years now. This job has allowed me to gain more friends that have not been pushed into the “work friends pile” in my social setting. I find myself remembering what it was like to have people to confide in, to laugh with and have inside jokes with. I haven’t had that in such a long time that I had become lost in the secluded world I had created for myself. And it wasn’t easy on their part either, prying into my personal life, creating space for themselves into my daily happenings with the interest that only friends have.

And I unbeknownst to myself I allowed them in.

I slowly but surely found myself in the middle of friendships. Without even trying. That’s what makes it easy doesn’t it? The fact that it is effortless? And I hadn’t realized what happened  until I found myself sitting in an essential oil seminar on a Saturday morning before my work shift. Sitting there allowing a stranger to spray me with Peppermint oil (“for cooling purposes”) I had a friendship epiphany. Not only was I there to support a friend who was holding a class, I was there so my other friend wouldn’t have to sit through an oil seminar alone. I was being a friend to two people at once. I must admit that I blacked out a little during this seminar to really take in what was happening around me. It could have been the oils, it could have been the fact that the Peppermint oil was placed somewhere around my temples and my eyes started watering but I almost lost my composure in front of a stranger and cried at where I had found myself on that Saturday morning. I had found myself being a friend.

Everything that I had been missing with close friendships I had found, but I hadn’t really understood that by doing something for them, I was doing something for myself. If they were friends to me then I had to be a friend back, and I hadn’t been a friend to anyone including myself in a very long time. But that’s the great thing about friends right? You don’t know what they do for you until you actually do something for yourself. You don’t know how cooling Peppermint Oil is until you let a stranger spray you.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Acts 1 & 2 by Jack Thorne: A Review

I cannot deny that I was one of the millions of Harry Potter fans that was ecstatic to hear the news that our messiah J.K. Rowling would grace us with another window in the Wonderful Wizarding World of Harry Potter, with a new story revolving around Harry’s young son Albus.  This new story however, would be portrayed onstage at the Palace Theater in London, information that both excited me and made me want to ugly cry. Knowing I would never be able to see the play live in London and that the chances of me ever really see the play anywhere were slim, I waited with mounting anticipation for the release of the script version written by Jack Thorne. I was so excited that I almost succeeded in talking my friend into attending the release party at my neighborhood Barnes and Noble but do to my lack of coaxing skills, we did not attend.

I didn’t have to wait long however to receive my copy, for my enabler of a boyfriend had a fresh hardcover waiting for me when I got home from my shift the day of it’s release. I obviously took the next day off of work.

I spent my day off laying on my couch flying (pun fully intended) through the pages of dialogue laid before me by Thorne. I was pleasantly greeted with familiar characters with their familiar personalities like seeing old friends again, but could not get over the missing feeling of the whole. The whole world that we as Harry Potter readers are immersed into by Rowling’s descriptions, development and adjectives.

I have to give a small disclaimer, I have recently been using my monthly audible.com credits to listen to the magnificent human being that is Jim Dale tell Harry’s story via audio book. It just so happens that I am almost to the end of Book 4, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which is where the central focus of Cursed Child takes place. It is different listening to Harry’s emotions about competing in Triwizard Tournament as an adult. Now I find myself closing in on Harry’s anxieties and tensions with both himself and his support system. Listening to over 20 hours of Harry’s development to become a champion all while knowing what is to become in the series, Cursed Child felt completely rushed. The major twist within the plot read like fan fiction and I don’t know if this is something to dislike with the story or the prelude to a bigger discussion of what has happened to Harry since the internet has gotten a hold of him. I follow Albus and his friend Scorpious through their adventure through time back and feel like I am being robbed of Albus’s true issue of identity within the story. Albus’s first three years at Hogwarts are a blur of stage production and special effects that when cleared the reader is introduced to a sullen teenager with Daddy issues that seem underdeveloped.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was an anticipated welcome back to friends that I haven’t seen in years but like most friends that I have left behind, I seem to the have changed and our relationship just doesn’t seem the same.